no fuck you sir

i feel so fancy posting this from my fancy (not an iphone) phone. it's a samsung propel.

life is fun =D

okay so in this entry i will give a full story of how me and jeremiah sort of met because i realized i've never really wrote about it. we both think it's a good story worth telling =D.

it started on february of 2007. i kinda knew of him already through mutual friends and stories. my high school wasn't big so it wasn't hard to know who's who. so around february of 2007 one of my favorite local bands, the new diet, was playing their first show at the metro. i was helping them out by passing out flyers for their show at my school. it also happened that the headliners of the show was another local band, inept. this band inept happened to be one of of my friend's favorite band. this friend happened to be very good friends with jeremiah. AND then it so happened that the said concert was around my friend's birthday so he was making this his sort of birthday concert where he invited a bunch of his friends (including jeremiah of course). so in some twist of fate this was the first time i actually met jeremiah. at the concert i was right at the front by the railings and who stands next to me but jeremiah. one of my friends told him to watch me since i am tiny. so throughout at least half of the concert he stood next to me "protecting" me from moshers and holding my souvenir beach ball from one of the bands. i didn't say more than a "thank you". i remember he was just smiling and taking pictures the whole time. i thought he was cute but we barely talked and the next day i find out he was going out with one of my friend's friend.

that was sort of the earliest memory of him i have. the few are mostly when he'd stop by the tennis courts or i'd see him around the hallway.

then bam! i hear that he joins my cousin (steph)'s band as their drummer. of course i see him around my cousin when they practice and when they'd pick him up for band practice and all. i wasn't able to make it when they played at a battle of the bands at wright college but i did go to their concert at northside hs with a bunch of my friends. of course i see him there. ah he was all cute with his rebellious long hair and drum playing. i didn't know then that he wasn't going out with the previous girl anymore.

so fast forward like about 9-10 months later. around the time i was just working and not in school. on december 15, 2007. my sister asked me to find one of my friends to go with us to the motion city soundtrack concert the next night since we weren't gonna take my cousin anymore. sooo i searched late at night around my friends list at aim asking people around if they wanted to. i was talking to the friend who had a birthday concert earlier in february (we def have to thank him for bring us together =P ) and he suggested jeremiah so he gave me jeremiah's screen name. and then i go and ask him and unfortunately he couldn't go because he was doing something supposedly. but we did end up talking the whole night about school, politics, school system...etc. before the night ended we exchanged phone numbers in case we wanted to hang out or catch up.

i think a week later i called him if he wanted to hang out with and when i called him for the first time i remember it was around midnight and he was out. he was walking around his neighborhood and he went to walgreens...at midnight. we ended up talking for hours and agreeing to do some kind of meet up soon. so we talked on the phone every night after that. then we decided we'd hang out on Martin Luther King day since he didn't have school and i wasn't going to work. i woke up that morning kinda nervous and we met up at the corner by my house. ah...lots of things happened that day. we were gonna go eat breakfast at the swedish restaurant but he didn't wanna wait so we decided for subway where he ate horrible sandwich and sang me beatles songs. we went downtown and i bought my american apparel sweater. ahh yeah well more happened but he considers this day the "first date". it pretty much makes MLK day epic for us. so we're planning to sort of recreate the day the best we can this upcoming monday =D.

well the rest is pretty much history after that...sort of. thrown in endless nights of talking, ignoring him to the 2nd "birthday concert" of previous friend and ignoring him for a week before i finally told him i like him. so yeah. valentines day came up and then bam we happened. before you know it we're naming our kids already =D.

yeah...it's def. destiny.

hey baby baby boy i'd love you from the day that we met
forget what mom says or if we're ready just yet
cuz it don't mean a thing if you're not next to me
you're who i wanna wake up to every morning

so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go

oh jesus. i just saw armaggedon fully awhile ago. i never really saw it fully but i knew what happened in the end. omg. i cried like a baby. that movie is epic. despite the fact that it is COMPLETELY scientifically ridunkulous. i love it. definitely top 20. man the part when they were about to go to space and bruce willis and liv tyler had a father/daughter talk...oh jesus. i cried a river. then OMG the part where ben affleck sings 'leavin on a jet plane' to liv tyler right before they leave. i love this movie. SERIOUS LOVE. bruce willis is epic....(especially in die hard 1).

ah man kinda all gloom because the boy started working at the nursing home today at a 3-11 shift and i had 7-3 shift. so i barely got to see him. watching armaggedon did not help the gloom. made me even gloomier. i miss him =(. he doesn't get out for another hour then he's gonna go home and rest.

oh yeah it was my first day at the nursing home today. maaaaan. it's tough work being a CNA and i only get paid 8.55 an hour. JESUS. i get paid $9 at the bank on the weekend for OPENING MAIL and PROCESSING CHECKS. i sit on my ass all day and i get paid $9 and only $8.55 for walking around all day, carrying heavy ass old people and wiping shit all day. man life is unfair. on my previous job i got paid $11/hour for putting thing into microsoft excel and adding number and SLEEPING. JESUS. tough toe nails huh? oh well you gotta do what you gotta do. well the thought of...well let's just say i'm hoping all this hard work will pay off in a few months. i will wipe serious shit to achieve it. =)

give me more lovin from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had.
im so glad that i found you.
i love bein around you.


it's funny how things happen =). even when my family thinks we're a dysfunctional couple because of the ridiculous and dramatic fights we have, they should know better because we're gonna last. for the first time in my life i found someone who doesn't expect the world out of me. all he expects from me is to be happy. we're both messed up in our own ways. i wish my family would understand that. i'm not lost because of him. i'm not messed up because of him. for the first time i'm actually glad to not be looking down from the top. i wish i could be better to him though. i have my flaws and sometimes i end up hurting him and even though he's heard me say 'sorry' a million times he always forgives me with an open heart. i might not know what i wanna do with the rest of my life but i do know who i want to be there right beside me. not a gazillion of pictures, words, and songs can describe how we are. it's the kind of thing that people go on for a million of years looking for and only to find it right under their nose the whole time. 'it's easy as 1,2,3,4'

so a lot has obviously happened. this summer has been more eventful than all my other summers combined. i kinda dont have time to explain things in detail now because i have some work to get done for my CNA class (yeah i'm going for nursing now) but to sum it up of things to come....

-dropped out of depaul university
-going for nursing
- learned how to bike!!!!!!!!
- lots of eventful things with my babe
- i'm taking cna classes with my babe
- my babe, steph and jono are playing their first show this year at the boiler room this saturday! =D
- i work in a crappy ass bank processing checks
- my mac is breaking down
- we got a german shepherd puppy
- more things i'm too lazy to write abt.



my baby bought me this canda (cat/panda) and i cried like a baby. oh and i'm wearing his ghetto hat.

last night our first dog died, carter. i miss him so much already =(. words cannot express how heart broken i am. i've had so much memories with him. i can't stop crying about it because we just lost a part of our family. i know he's in a better place. i really miss him a lot. whenever i think about him i can't help but cry. i feel like a piece of me just died too. i wish he was still here.

http://flickr.com/photos/kakaibanglarawan/2791469906/

so tomorrow i'm gonna go to his family party and i'm sorta nervous. i really want his family to like me. i dunno why. i wanna get my toe nails done because i don't want them to think he's dating a girl with ugly toe nails. oh it;s one of those big formal family parties. i have to dress up. he doesn't care too much. he doesn't even wanna go. i'm actually kinda excited. i want to impress his family, which is weird.

i'm alive i swear. i'm just losing touch of things. i was watching the notebook awhile ago and i used to hate that movie. but i can't help but want to cry when i watch it now. some things just feel real and this is one of them.